Monday, February 04, 2008

Not Again!

Jeez, you'll fall for this old "read the whole thing" trick every time, won't you? No, there is no transcript of Troy Aikman and Joe Buck debating this call on Wittgensteinian grounds. Really, there isn't. I made it all up.

Why? Because I'm in St. Louis and recovering from a nasty cold and I had nothing better to do.

18 Comments:

At 6:05 PM , Anonymous Sean Carroll said...

Maybe not in this branch of the wavefunction...

 
At 6:37 PM , Anonymous alwsdad said...

Hey, I came here to find out who won tomorrow's primary. Why isn't that up?

 
At 10:00 PM , Blogger Ahistoricality said...

You're a clever one, aren't you? Because every single one of your readers knows you made it up, but there was a chance that there might have been more. Instead, you stick a finger in our collective virtual eyes.

Ass.

 
At 12:01 AM , Blogger Michael Bérubé said...

And it's a finger full of nasty-cold germs, too!

 
At 12:35 AM , Blogger Virtually Actual said...

What? I was expecting 40 pages from the Grundrisse. This is lame.

 
At 5:18 AM , Anonymous MR. Bill said...

There was a football game?

 
At 6:40 AM , Blogger bobvis said...

Ugh. Is this what it feels like to get punked?

 
At 7:24 AM , Anonymous jakobtrane said...

This was very funny. I have a much better understanding of American football, and hockey, now. Thank you.

As a rule, however, badminton and REAL football are much more interesting sports.

 
At 8:06 AM , Blogger Bulworth said...

Uh, mister french man, I knew there was no real Buck-Aikman transcript cuz I watched the game, you know, and I know I didn't hear that bit about the 88-thing, but I did imagine you might have plagiarized the whole thing from some other full-time blogger.

The real question though, is, did the exiting New York Football Giants player get one foot down before getting out of bounds (sufficient to be "in bounds" in college) or was he subject to the silly National Football League rule of needing to get two feet in bounds?

 
At 8:37 AM , Blogger Xanthippas said...

Ugh. Is this what it feels like to get punked?

This is the Crooked Timber version of getting punked. The first half was actually reading all of that fake "transcript" at Crooked Timber.

 
At 8:43 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn.

 
At 8:58 AM , Blogger Michael Bérubé said...

What? I was expecting 40 pages from the Grundrisse.

Oldest joke in the book, that one. Even I wouldn't stoop that low.

badminton and REAL football are much more interesting sports

Possibly, though I wish someone would explain badminton's "tuck rule" to me. Also, I have to say I don't care for all the fighting. It ruins the beauty of the sport.

I did imagine you might have plagiarized the whole thing from some other full-time blogger.

You mean stealing stuff from someone who actually devotes her- or himself to the craft, as opposed to showing up once a month or so at CT or TPMCafe? That's a great idea.

And Blackburn didn't have so much as a shoelace out of bounds, to be honest.

 
At 11:45 AM , Blogger bdub said...

Welcome to St. Louis.

 
At 1:46 PM , Anonymous jakobtrane said...

Tuck rule:
"Under the rule, a quarterback's throwing motion begins when he raises the ball in his hand and begins to move his arm forward; that motion doesn't end until the quarterback tucks the ball back against his body, making him a runner. If the ball comes loose any time in between, it's an incomplete pass, not a fumble. Only if the quarterback reloads -- and raises the ball again to start a new throwing motion -- can he fumble, as long as the ball is knocked loose before his arm begins to move forward again."

Tuck rule in badminton? Don't know.

The only thing I can think of in comparison is the rule that the serve must be one forward motion. You cannot swing fast, then full stop, back a little and then swing, or the like.

But this rule is quite clear which makes rule-following easy. So you do not have to bring your lawyer to a game of badminton, whereas you might need one for American Football - as seen from here at least.

Further, In badminton a game lasts only shortly, so that of course means less time for commercials, but a lot of time for art, sweat and excitement.

So there.

 
At 7:25 PM , Blogger The Constructivist said...

Dude, still waiting for some LPGA blogging....

 
At 7:50 AM , Anonymous weedlin' to please said...

Fooled? No. An actual transcript of assuredly insipid "jockspeak" would have punctuated this wonderful post beautifally. Too bad you couldn't find it.

 
At 12:48 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

you got me! I feel as if my ball was snapped! this, of course, is why the other rules should forbid multiple blogging assignments for unique individuals.

 
At 11:49 AM , Anonymous mroberts said...

Great. Now I have a cold.

 

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