Obscure corner of the Internets

Insert Borges joke here.

Wizbang Weblog Awards!

Really, these are the real Wizbang Weblog Awards for 2008! By clicking on the link, you have already voted for me as your choice for Most Desultory Blogger! Thank you so much!

Not this time

Oh no you don't. You're not blaming this one on the Blog of the Future. I had nothing to do with this.

The Text of Alf Landon's Famous Speech

Delivered on July 4, 1936, at the state fair in Watsamata, Kansas

My fellow Americans. I urge you to vote this November for the re-election of my opponent, Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Only he can guide us through the perilous times ahead; I frankly don’t have a clue. I trust President Roosevelt completely, and I believe you should too.

Indeed, the only reason I’m standing before you here today is that the Republican Party needs to go through the motions of opposing FDR. Well, not me. I’m not going to go through the motions at a time like this, when we are plunged into a great global depression and facing the rise of fascism in Europe. So to all of you who say you won’t vote for me this fall, I say this: Hell, I wouldn’t vote for me either.

Now, I know some of you have heard that President Roosevelt is a Socialist and a Jew. Some of you have heard that he was secretly trained by Jews abroad as a child. Some of you have heard that he doesn’t place his hand over his heart during the national anthem. Some of you might even have heard that “Roosevelt” is a foreign-sounding name. But what you’re hearing, my fellow Americans, are simply the death rattles of a party that has no idea whatsoever what to do in response to our fiscal crises at home and our challenges around the world.

Don’t fall for these baseless and scurrilous attacks, my fellow Americans. Don’t give in to narrow parochialisms and hatreds. I believe President Roosevelt said it best when he told us that we have nothing to fear but fear itself. Those were the words of courage; those were the words of wisdom; those were the words of a real leader. We are extremely fortunate to have such a man as Franklin Delano Roosevelt in the White House, and I am happy to support re-election to the Presidency of the United States. Thank you, and may God bless America.

All right

So I exaggerate sometimes.

I'm only kidding, really.

There is no "Ye Olde Google Cache" that preserves the May 1860 press conferences of Stephen Douglas. It's a private little joke, see, because back when I had my old blog, sometimes I would refer to blog posts from the future, which is why this blog is called "Future Search," and so I thought . . . oh, never mind what I thought.

The point is that Lincoln doesn't have the experience to be President, and the Future will bear me out on this.

Not Again!

Jeez, you'll fall for this old "read the whole thing" trick every time, won't you? No, there is no transcript of Troy Aikman and Joe Buck debating this call on Wittgensteinian grounds. Really, there isn't. I made it all up.

Why? Because I'm in St. Louis and recovering from a nasty cold and I had nothing better to do.