Delivered on July 4, 1936, at the state fair in Watsamata, Kansas
My fellow Americans. I urge you to vote this November for the re-election of my opponent, Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Only he can guide us through the perilous times ahead; I frankly don’t have a clue. I trust President Roosevelt completely, and I believe you should too.
Indeed, the only reason I’m standing before you here today is that the Republican Party needs to go through the motions of opposing FDR. Well, not me. I’m not going to go through the motions at a time like this, when we are plunged into a great global depression and facing the rise of fascism in Europe. So to all of you who say you won’t vote for me this fall, I say this: Hell, I wouldn’t vote for me either.
Now, I know some of you have heard that President Roosevelt is a Socialist and a Jew. Some of you have heard that he was secretly trained by Jews abroad as a child. Some of you have heard that he doesn’t place his hand over his heart during the national anthem. Some of you might even have heard that “Roosevelt” is a foreign-sounding name. But what you’re hearing, my fellow Americans, are simply the death rattles of a party that has no idea whatsoever what to do in response to our fiscal crises at home and our challenges around the world.
Don’t fall for these baseless and scurrilous attacks, my fellow Americans. Don’t give in to narrow parochialisms and hatreds. I believe President Roosevelt said it best when he told us that we have nothing to fear but fear itself. Those were the words of courage; those were the words of wisdom; those were the words of a real leader. We are extremely fortunate to have such a man as Franklin Delano Roosevelt in the White House, and I am happy to support re-election to the Presidency of the United States. Thank you, and may God bless America.